Sir Justin's Hospital Hangup
by maverickiceman
Summary: After the events of Patriot Act, Shining Knight is recuperating in hospital. Now if only the other Leaguers would stop dragging him into trouble with their hi-jinks.Hospitals and heroes DEFINITELY don't mix!
1. Monday

**A/N:** This fic's been in my head for a long time, ever since I saw 'Patriot Act'. Thanks to Trickster91 and Lilninjapig for getting me to finally write it and also for being my betas!!

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**Sir Justin's Hospital Hang-up**

_BEEP………BEEP………BEEP………._

That was the first sound that Sir Justin heard as he woke up in an unfamiliar room.

"_Where am I?" _he thought glancing around the room. _"Ah now I remember, what was it Vigilante called it? The hospital, wasn't it?"_ he thought, recalling the battle in downtown Metropolis that he and some of the other Leaguers had been involved in, resulting in his current situation. His eyes idly ran over the room as the thoughts ran through his mind, before glancing down at his own body to check what those '21st century docs" had done to him.

Mary Wilkins, the head nurse of the fifth floor of Metropolis General Hospital, ran into one of the rooms that had been set aside for the Leaguers injured in yesterday's battle. The battle was nothing new considering who was the city's resident hero. However, by the same token, looking after wounded superheroes _was_ new, hence, her looking after these patients personally.

Now looking at the young man whose yell had brought her there, she found herself wondering what could have upset one of these heroes so much.

The blonde-haired young man looked at her with a face on which confusion and shock were both equally present.

"Fair maiden," he said, indicating the hospital gown he was wearing, "what manner of attire is this?"

_4 hours later……_

After Sir Justin had calmed down enough to hear the nurse's explanation of why he had to wear such queer attire (he still thought it was better suited for women), he had had a string of visitors, first it was the nice, elderly woman had refused his thanks and urged him to recover( her name it turned out was Mrs. Jones.), then the group of young boys who had helped control the crowd had dropped by ( they were fascinated by his tales of daily life in King Arthur's time, having only read books about the supposedly mythical king and his knights).

Now Sir Justin was pondering the plate of 'food' that the nurse had placed in front of him, judging whether or not if it was safe for human consumption. This was when Vigilante walked in with two Big Macs and a stack of DVDs.

"Howdy Sir Justin." he drawled. "I reckoned you'd need a bit of _real_ food. Besides you must be bored sick here. Ain't even any pretty nurses around far as I can see."

"I thank you my friend, I am indeed in need of proper sustenance. As for the nurses I find them remarkably good at their job."

"I brought you a couple of DVDs." said Vigilante brushing aside the knight's thanks and his comment about the nurses. "Green Arrow lent me his portable DVD player. He sends his regards by the way. He'll drop by later this week he's pretty busy right now filling in all those reports up on the Watchtower, what with him being mission leader and all."

"I understand, convey my thanks to him when you can."

"Will do, amigo. So what do you wanna see _The Good, The Bad and The Ugly _or_Bullit?_"

_Later that day……_

Vigilante had left after the movie promising to come again tomorrow. Sir Justin had spent the rest of the day immersed in books which purported to tell the real stories of King Arthur and his Knights (they did not). As he settled down for the night, Sir Justin found himself thinking that if the rest of his hospital stay was like this, then it wouldn't be all that bad after all.

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_Next:-_The Fastest Man Alive plus A Chivalrous Knight plus A Hospital Gurney equals what? Madness and hilarity, of course. 


	2. Tuesday

_**Disclaimer:**_ I forgot to say in the first chapter that I own zilch! There I said it!! It's a load of my mind. (No, really it is!)

_**A/N**_: Again a round of applause for my betas!!

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**The Gurney Grand Prix**

"Oohh!! Anyone get the number of that truck?" groaned Wally West as he stumbled into the bathroom of his Watchtower quarters.

After splashing water on his face to wake himself up, the Scarlet Speedster leaned against the wall and went over the previous day's events.

"Man that Amazon wine has some kick to it, normally I get over a hangover in a couple of hours, but I _still _feel like crap." he muttered.

_(Now for the benefit of the readers we shall travel back in time and view the events leading up to the current sorry state of the Fastest Man Alive.)_

Sir Justin propped himself up on his pillows and looked Vigilante straight in the eye. "Do you possess nothing that does not feature Clint Eastwood in your movie collection?"

Vigilante shifted guiltily in his seat. "Umm… yeah, but I don't think they're this good," he muttered, pointing to the movie 'For A Few Dollars More" lying next to the DVD player on the table.

Before the irate knight could reply, a red blur entered the room, slowing to reveal the ever smiling form of the Flash.

"Hey, what's this I hear about you people having a nice little free for all while the rest of us were busy? Don't you people have the common courtesy to at least invite us to the fight?" he asked with a grin. "Seriously though, I just got back from Madagascar and I thought I'd drop by to see how you're doing."

"I am doing quite well, thank you Flash." replied Sir Justin.

"Great, listen you're not any medication are you? I got some of Diana's wine stash with me, thought we would celebrate your first mission where we didn't hog the limelight."

"Nope, he ain't on anything except a couple of Aspirin for the ribs." said Vigilante.

"Right, well I'll just go see Stargirl, be right back. Oh and Vig, this wine's good, you just _gotta _try it."

_Half a wine bottle and 3 drinking songs later-_

"You guys up for a race against STRIPE and Stargirl?" asked Wally, stumbling slightly as he entered the room.

"What manner of race?" asked Sir Justin.

"A gurney race, I ..er… _sweet talked_ my way into nabbing two of them."

"I'm not so sure about this."

After convincing Shining Knight, the heroes prepare for the 1st ever Gurney Grand Prix. Here are the teams:

Team 1:

Driver: Flash

Passenger: Shining Knight

Team 2:

Driver: STRIPE

Passenger: Stargirl

Announcer: Vigilante

"And they're off!!" yells Vigilante from his seat on a vacant gurney by a wall where he can see most of the action. "Remember folks the first one to complete two whole circuits of the floor is the winner! Rounding the first corner they're neck and neck. No, wait Flash is pulling ahead. How they can steer without hitting anything in the state they're in is a mystery to me."

"C'mon STRIPE, let's show them!! Kick it into high gear!!" yells a tipsy Stargirl.

STRIPE just pushed his jets harder in response.

"You're getting slow, old man! Eat our dust!!" crowed Stargirl as they passed the other duo around the second corner.

"Old man?!! I'll show you who's an old man!!" retorted Flash speeding up himself.

"Nice comeback there by Flash, and I'm not talking about his trash talkin' skills!! And here they come around the last bend- Uh oh!!" said Vigilante.

Just as the two gurneys came down the home stretch who should step out of the elevator and into their paths but Big Blue himself- Superman.

CRASH!!!!

_Now, gentle readers, let us return to one Wallace (Wally) West in his Watchtower quarters._

Wally winced at the memory of what happened next, Superman had singled him out for punishment (why, he'd never understand, the others were as much at fault as he was). As a result Wally was assigned Toilet Duty for the next two weeks. He shuddered, thinking just what he might find in them ( the Creeper kept popping up in his thoughts for some reason). Wally swore he'd get even with the 'Boyscout' if it was the last thing he ever did.

"Let's see what _he_ gets up to after I spike his drink with Diana's wine. If that doesn't get him drunk nothing will."

The hallways of the Watchtower rang with the sounds of maniacal laughter that day.

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_Next:-_ Who's brave enough to volunteer to look after Winged Victory, and what about Vig's bike?

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**_A/N:_** Can someone please tell me what STRIPE stands for? I sort of felt Flash would be the one member of the Seven to understand how the other lesser Leaguers felt, after all he was the rookie (kind of) when it was just the Seven. 


	3. Wednesday

_**A/N: **_Thanks again to my faithful betas.Trickster91 & lilninjapig.

**_Disclaimer:-_** Krypto ate my disclaimer, _YOU _ try facing a hungry superdog!

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**Rawhide!**

_The Metro Tower stables,5 a.m.:-_

"Damn my luck! If I didn't know better I'd say that game was rigged!" groused Guy Gardner, Green Lantern extraordinaire (in his mind at least), as he approached the stall of the stables' sole occupant.

"Whoa there! Nice horsey," he said as he approached the white, winged stallion. The horse just snorted and turned its back on him.

"C'mon Victory, why don't you come out of your stall, so uncle Guy can clean your stall." Guy said in his best 'horsey' voice.

The stallion replied with a heart felt neigh and lashed out with his rear legs, sending Guy into the opposite wall with enough force to leave a crater in it.

Guy cursed his luck again as he slipped into oblivion, slowly sliding to the stable floor.

_Metropolis General, the previous afternoon:-_

Sir Justin looked up from his conversation with Flash as Vigilante stalked into the room muttering something about 'highway robbery' and 'hanging the miserable varmint from the nearest tree'.

"Why the long face, Vig?" asked Flash.

"Damn mechanics, the guy at my local garage says it's gonna cost a bundle to fix up my bike. He thinks it's a waste fixing that 'junk heap'.

I almost shot the guy then and there .No-one talks about my baby that way."

"You know I think I can 'convince' Bats to foot the bill for your bike."

"What you got on him this time, Flash? I thought you learnt your lesson _last_ time."

"If that fink Gardner hadn't ratted on me!—" said Flash ,only to be interrupted as the object of their conversation walked in.

"Did someone mention my name? Hiya Sir Martin, how's it going?" said the egotistical Green Lantern.

"My name is Justin, Gardner, not Martin." replied Sir Justin with what seemed (at least to the other two) to be infinite patience.

"Whatever, if I'd been there, it'd be Eiling in here, instead of you!"

"Oh gee, too bad you missed all the fun." said Vigilante sarcastically.

"Anyway," said Flash quickly before Guy realized what had been said, "we were trying to decide who'd take care of Victory until SK here, was out of the hospital." He winked at the other two conspiratorially.

"Why can't Wyatt Earp here look after the damn horse?" said Guy gesturing towards Vigilante.

"'Coz that critter still has it in for me after I whacked it during the parade "said Vigilante." Tell you what let's play Texas Hold'em, losers play each other, whoever loses _then_ has to take care of Victory."

"You losers are going down!" was the reply.

_1hour later:-_

"I fear for Victory's well-being." said Sir Justin as he watched Guy slouch out of the room, muttering about being 'hustled'. (Sir Justin resolved to get Vigilante to explain the meaning of that term.)

"I'd worry about Gardner's." Vigilante advised him.

"Don't waste your time. Maybe Victory will get rid of him for us." said Flash with a hopeful gleam in his eye.

_(And that, dear reader is the reason for Guy Gardner's current unhappy situation.)_

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_Next:-_ What has Flash got on Batman? Sir Justin finds himself in a sticky situation in "The Goddamn Batman."

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_**A/N:-**_ I don't know how to play Texas Hold'em, it just seemed a good card game for them to play.


	4. Thursday

_**A/N:-**_ This chapter is inspired by… what else, April Fool's Day! Thanks again to my betas.

_Disclaimer:-_ Repeat after me-" Maverickiceman owns nothing 'cept for the storyline!"

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**The Goddamn Batman**

_The Watchtower:-_

The Watchtower was notorious for the prank wars that sprang up between various Leaguers. However none were more notorious than the one involving a certain Scarlet Speedster and a certain Emerald Archer.

"Let's see Wingfoot dodge this!" muttered Oliver Queen as he spread just a _little _bit of floor wax on the floor. The reason Green Arrow was miffed was that Wally West had spoilt one of the best chances he had had to get some alone time with Black Canary. What did Flash do? Suffice to say it involved Green Arrow's very own boxing glove arrow coming into accidental (or so Flash claimed) contact with a very sensitive part of Ollie's anatomy.

Unfortunately for Arrow, who should come hurrying along in opposite directions just then but the Dark Knight and an Amazon Princess. The resulting crash could be heard throughout the Watchtower.

Even worse, the bane of Ollie's existence had appeared with his trusty Polaroid camera. After snapping the duo in their apparently compromising position on the floor, he proceeded to comment to Ollie on how the rumors would be flying if people weren't more discreet.

One look at the expression on the faces of the occupants of the floor and Ollie and Wally had a sudden urge to be elsewhere.

_Metropolis General, later that day:-_

Sir Justin was puzzled by his fellow Leaguers' behavior. Both Green Arrow and Flash had dropped in to visit, but both seemed …uneasy. They kept starting at any sudden noise and throwing furtive glances to the door and window. Suddenly Flash exclaimed "HE's here!!", grabbed Arrow and sped out of the room.

Five seconds later, the Caped Crusader stalked into the room. "Where are they?" he growled to a perplexed knight who shrugged. "Never mind, they can't hide forever." He said leaving Sir Justin, who resolved to find out just what exactly he'd missed on Vigilante's next visit.

_A unused room 3 floors down:-_

"You think he's gone?" asked Flash.

"God, I hope so!" was the reply.

"No such luck!" came a voice from the shadows. The two heroes had barely registered the voice when they were glued to their spots with what appeared to be a new type of super glue, courtesy of the Dark Knight.

"Now," said Batman. "I don't want to know why you two clowns did what you did, I want to know who put you up to it."

The two heroes exchanged a glance.

"Well you see it was like this…" said Wally.

_Bludhaven, later that evening:-_

Nightwing swore, he didn't know who had told Bruce he was the one who teepeed the Batcave but he would find that person and ensure said person's long, slow & painful death. After he got down from the side of the building he was stuck to, of course.

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_Next:-_ Nightwing finds himself a couple of stool pigeons, and Sir Justin gets more company in the hospital in 'Revenge is a dish best served cold.".

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	5. Friday

_**A/N:**_ Thanks to my betas once again. Also, REVIEW!! Or else I'll tell Victory you're related to Guy Gardner!! So there!!

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing (woe is me!).

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Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold

_Metropolis General, sometime in the afternoon:-_

If you looked in on one of the rooms set aside for Leaguers injured in Metropolis, you would find that one had more than the usual number of occupants. Well, more than the usual number of occupants who required the hospital's services.

Sir Justin, the original occupant of the room and his visitor Vigilante, watched as his recently acquired roommates groaned their way to consciousness. The aforementioned invalids as could be seen from their costumes were the Flash and Green Arrow.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." Vigilante drawled. "What stampede were you all involved in?"

"Yes, what ill has befallen you?" queried Sir Justin.

"An ill named Nightwing…" groaned Flash from the knight's left.

"And he didn't fall on us, he made damn near everything _else_ fall on us." added Green Arrow from the right, wincing slightly as he spoke.

"Really? Do tell." said an interested Stargirl as she was wheeled in by an equally curious STRIPE.

"Well, there I was merrily whizzing along, on my way to see you guys, when I met Arrow. We decided the more the merrier and we're just about to continue on our mission of mercy when…"

_Earlier that day:-_

Nightwing smiled. It wasn't a very nice smile. It was the one that had made even Bludhaven's toughest crooks wet their pants. His prey, whoops, his _friends_ were right where he wanted them.

He swooped down behind them in true Caped Crusader fashion before speaking"Hi, guys."

Their reactions exceeded even his expectations, Wally literally jumped out of his skin, he wouldn't be surprised if Wally had broken the current high jump world record. Ollie looked about ready to throw up.

"Umm, hi Dick!!" Wally said in a exceedingly cheerful voice. "What brings you to fair Metropolis?"

"Tracking down two snitches," said Nightwing, smirking. "You wouldn't happen to know them by any chance, would you?"

"What makes you say that?" Arrow fairly squeaked.

"Oh, I don't know.." said Nightwing, feigning thought. "A certain hero, named Booster Gold, perhaps."

I knew we couldn't trust him, thought Oliver Queen, willing himself to move but unable to do so for some strange reason. Wally found himself similarly paralyzed with dread as Nightwing approached even closer. How do I get into these messes? was his last coherent thought before mayhem descended.

_Back to Metropolis General:-_

"At least he dropped you two off here after he was done with you. I guess it's true, you don't mess with a Bat." commented Stargirl as STRIPE nodded sagely.

"By the way, the Docs want to keep you guys under observation for a couple of days." added Vigilante.

"Oh great, I've got a hot date tonight." groaned Wally.

"Join the club, Canary's going to kill me for missing ours tonight." said Ollie, sinking further into the sheets.

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_Next:-_ See what the trio get up to in 'Three's Company".

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	6. Saturday

_**A/N:**_ Once again thanks to my betas. Also I've tried to make this chapter longer in response to the reviews I received. Thanks for encouraging me, guys.

**Disclaimer:-** I own nothing (sob!).

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Three's Company

_Metropolis General:-_

On the fifth floor of Metropolis General there was a strange unavailability of the young and pretty nurses. Strange, that is until you peaked into what was now known throughout the hospital as the 'Hero ward' by those who didn't have to deal with the patients, and 'The Madhouse' by those unfortunate doctors who did.

Green Arrow was currently regaling the missing nurses with stories of his acts of derring do with and without the League with Flash chipping in occasionally. Vigilante and Shining Knight were looking on in wry amusement.

"Ain't it wonderful what an effect a young, pretty nurse has on those two invalids?" Vigilante said putting extra emphasis on the word invalids.

"Indeed, it is. Indeed it is." agreed Sir Justin.

Elsewhere, on the same floor a meeting of two souls occurred, that both Ollie and Wally would curse till their dying day.

"Aren't you Black Canary?" asked a curious Linda Park.

"Yes, I am. I know who you are. So doing another story on Flash, I see." replied the blonde heroine.

"Actually I'm off, today."

"Oh!"

The two women stopped in front of a room from which sounds of feminine adoration were coming.

"He's at it again." said an exasperated Canary, much to Linda's puzzlement.

Green Arrow stopped halfway through his story as he noticed the two women and gulped nervously. "Hello, Canary" he said.

"Out!" hissed the blonde heroine coldly. The room was nurse free in under five minutes.

"Hey, you're that Park lady. I thought we made it clear we don't want anymore reporters in here after the fiasco with the Metropolis Star folk. Damn tabloids! Nothing but gossip mongers the lot of them!" groused Vigilante on spotting Linda.

"She's a reporter, sure. But right now, she's come to visit her boyfriend." Black Canary replied as Linda fussed over Wally, leaving no doubt in anyone's mind who the lucky guy was.

"Now Arrow, what's this I hear about Nightwing pasting you two on our date night. You didn't pick a fight just to get out of our Opera Night, now did you?' said the heroine turning her attention back to the unfortunate emerald archer.

Linda stopped fluffing Flash's pillow with first surprise, then anger washing over her features. "You told me the Rogues ganged up on you!!" she accused Wally.

"Mommy!!" squeaked the terrified speedster.

"Man, those two are whipped!! At least we know who wears the pants in our relationships don't we Sir Justin?" chuckled Vigilante.

"Reallly? Care to enlighten the rest of us?" said a voice Vigilante knew and dreaded. He threw a nervous glance to the door.

There stood Sir Justin's and his girlfriends, otherwise known as the Leaguers Ice and Fire. The looks that were thrown their way, if looks could kill, would have made Kryptonite obsolete.

"Now darlin, we didn't mean nothing by that you know, we're just horsin' around. " Vigilante tried to no avail.

_The following scenes have been censored with respect to the readers' sensibilities regarding excessive violence and foul language._

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_Next:-_ The heroes are kicked out…er…_moved out_ of Metropolis General. Their new abode? The Metro Tower! Yikes!! Next time in 'Moving Day'!


	7. Sunday

**A/N:** This is the last chapter of this fic, however watch out for a Wally & Ollie spinoff!! This chapter was inspired by Lady Jaye's diary fics. Once again thank you to my betas who have been patiently waiting for each new chapter. Finally thanks to Mists for all the reviews.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I _don't _own the League!!

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**Moving Day!!**

_The Metrotower, late afternoon:-_

_The personal log of Michael Holt a.k.a Mister Terrific, current League coordinator:_

I may be an atheist but there is one part of the Bible I agree with "and on the seventh day He rested". However I doubt God had to deal with a bed-ridden knight, an injured cowboy, a cranky archer and a restless speedster. I swear having those four in the same room is asking for trouble as the good folk at Metropolis General found out.

That's why they shipped those four to the Metrotower, with compliments, and strict instructions to take care of Arrow and Flash ourselves from now on.

The first thing those nuts did on waking from their chemically induced naps was to barricade themselves in sickbay and refuse entrance to anything female. It seemed they were wary of more attacks for what was said regarding women's place in relationships. It took Superman two hours to negotiate with them to lift the ban. I suppose Batman's threats of even more bodily harm didn't hurt either. Bruce is one scary person.

The invalids didn't have to worry actually, all the females are still cracking up over the idea of the four of them getting their asses kicked by their 'better halves' though in Wally and Ollie's case 'saner halves' is more appropriate. Ice and Fire didn't do too much though, Bea mostly because she got kicked out before she really set to work. Both Vigilante and Sir Justin will be out later today.

Flash and Arrow on the other hand- No Booster you _can not_ hide here, _no_ I don't have any new missions, _no not even crowd control!!_ Get out of my control room or I just might kill you before Flash and Arrow do!! Now shoo!!

Now where was I? Oh yeah, Flash and Arrow will have to stay a couple of days though. They're already going stir crazy. Flash got out his Smah'em Bots, but I confiscated them until the two of them are out of sickbay, _after_ they destroyed the X-ray machine, four beds and Atom's mini-lab. Ray wasn't pleased, to say the least.

Why's Booster running around screaming like a girl? _Flash!! Arrow!! Bring those wheelchairs back right now or I'll send Diana and Shayera after you!_

Well, Shayera and Diana cornered those two with a little help from Kara. Booster was hiding in Stargirl's room. STRIPE didn't take too kindly to that. Beetle's still trying to figure out how to get Booster down from the cafeteria's overhead lights, looks like Stripe soldered him in place.

Maybe I ought to send Eiling the repair bill along with the League's psychotherapy bill, to deal with the effects of Flash and Arrow's incapacitation. Hmmm, there's an idea, computer show locations of recent sightings of Col. Wade Eiling…

_End of personal log entry._

_The End_

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_**A/N : **_Mr. Terrific's the league coordinator, so I feel it's only natural he know the real identities off all the Leaguers.


End file.
